Help, My Husband Is Obsessed With Crypto

Cryptocurrency trading around the world has skyrocketed. Ever since bitcoin was created in 2009, bitcoin trading has been on the steady up rise.  Today, however, bitcoin is no longer the new kid in town – there are 1,600 altcoins in existence, some, like Ethereum, XRP, and EOS, taking center stage next to bitcoin.

Number of cryptocurrencies since June 2013, Source: Coinmarketcap

Cryptocurrencies have taken the world by storm, allowing millions of people to buy and trade them. To give you an idea of how their use has grown, let’s compare the total crypto transactions over the past year. On March 19, 2018, the number of transactions came to over 305 million, and just a year ago on March 18, 2017, there were 206.12 million, an increase of over 48%.

An increasing number of people are even trading cryptos full-time. To some, it’s a hobby, to others it’s a profession, and to a few, it’s their life. They are – THE OBSESSED


For my husband, it’s definitely his life, an obsession that has him glued to a screen from the time he gets up, to the time he lays his head on his pillow at night. Trading cryptos requires him to constantly check the market and keep current on breaking news.

It’s not always easy being married to such a fanatic. It’s like riding a roller coaster every day. Sometimes you’re high, and other times, you just want to puke.


I’ll give you some examples of what it’s like being married to the crypto-obsessed.

OK, picture this: your husband tells you, “Honey, we’re going to start mining.” Innocently you say, “Ok sweetie, I trust your instincts. Let’s do this!” So, he packs nearly a dozen miners into your small apartment. You quickly discover the true reality of what small operation home mining looks like.


If you ever dare move one of the miners you realize they are so ungodly heavy you’ll split your intestines right open. Your thermostat refuses to drop below 80 degrees in the summertime, and you can barely catch a wink of sleep through the loud, incessant humming. After a few weeks of this, you just want to yank the power cords straight out of the wall to stop the madness once and for all.

But the best part of all is when he takes all those bitcoins the miners have created and puts them into an ICO that turns out to be a scam. (Oh happy days!) All the pain you went through, all the money you spent on electricity, it’s all down the toilet. You wish you never heard the word “miner”.


And picture this: your husband says, “I’ve put a third of our savings into a trading account. I’m going balls to the walls, baby!”

My reaction: “Are you joking? Please, tell me you’re joking.”

His reply: “Nope. I’m for real!”

And me again: “Oh, god. I need a drink.”

Yep. These are true stories. This stuff really happens. Hope you enjoyed this comic rendition of what it’s like being married to someone obsessed with crypto. It’s a never-ending punch in the gut that makes you feel like you’re in a 50 story elevator, cables snapping one by one until you’re free-falling. You just hope and pray there won’t be a crash landing.

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